UGLY SOCIETY

Tag: Keep Growing

  • Issue #5: Finding My Way Back to Myself

    It felt like a long day today.

    Being inside my head can be unsettling, and being around people can make it harder. I try, but sometimes I don’t feel at one with myself. Hearing unwanted voices, especially when they seem to come from people around me, feels overwhelming. There’s just too much to explain.

    My mind and body don’t seem to align the way they usually do. It feels like there’s interference with my thoughts. When people speak, I get caught up in their words while I’m trying to stay present and not lose myself in everything I’m hearing.

    Then I feel uncomfortable, and I usually don’t know what to do other than fight it in my head.

    Sometimes, even while I’m doing something, I get this feeling like my actions are connected to what someone else might be thinking. I don’t know what they’re thinking, but that feeling is hard to shake in the moment. It makes ordinary things feel complicated.

    When I’m alone, things settle down. I feel like myself again. The direction I’m taking feels clearer. My head isn’t racing as much, and those unwanted voices that don’t feel like me quiet down.

    I feel good now. Earlier was a lot, and I’m still finding the words for it. For tonight, I’m giving myself some room to breathe.

    “That’s lifeeeee.” 🎵

    — Chris / Luvlyboy
    🐼 Keep Growing.

  • A Little Reminder: You Deserve Kindness, Too

    Strawberries, apples, bananas. Just a thought—something good to feed my mind.

    I’m not really doing much right now, just resting and listening to some lofi. It feels good. Right now, everything feels right.

    I’m giving myself some time to restart, feeding myself positive thoughts. Good fruit for thought.

    I’m enjoying this moment. Resting and feeding my mind something positive are a win-win for me. Things don’t feel as heavy today.

    Just easing into the night, because this is usually the time it kicks in—when everything gets blurry and starts to feel heavy. So I’m acknowledging that beforehand. If it does come around, I want to remember that I had a good day today.

    I felt good. I enjoyed this moment. That counts, too.

  • Panda Thoughts #1 🐼

    Ahh, sigh. Okay.

    I have this scheduled to post tomorrow. This is past me writing to future you guys.

    I usually try to make my posts ahead of time so they’re up and ready to go when post day comes around.

    I’m hanging on.

    I’m not really tired, but my mind is feeling hazy. Everything’s kinda distorted right now, but I’m pushing through.

    I’m still here, even on days like these.

    And that shit’s tough, man.

    In and out of my head, feeling like everything’s building up inside me. Like I’m just ready to explode from all these thoughts and feelings I’ve been carrying.

    But really, I’m okay. I think.

    I haven’t taken my medication, and yeah, there’s a lot you guys don’t know.

    But even with the medication, I still feel like this.

    That’s why sometimes I just stop taking them. For one, it feels like a chore, and I don’t usually have the energy to keep up with taking them.

    And when I do take them, sometimes I still feel the same.

    I’ve been putting in the work, though.

    Therapy, content creating, blogs, music, my dog, cleaning. So much.

    Like, I know what I’m taking and the effects they’re supposed to have on me, but sometimes it feels like there’s no effect at all.

    Maybe I feel a little more uplifted and not so down, but there’s still a lot to feel.

    And when I’m locked in, my mind is just in it.

    Yeah, I think I’m just gonna take the rest of the night easy.

    Little by little.

    Hope you guys are good.

    Take care, really.

    Peace. 🐼🖤

    — Chris / Luvlyboy

  • Issue #4: I’m Still Becoming

    “Did you even notice the clouds in the sky today?” — el amorrrsss

    We out here—still going, still growing.

    Been busy with so many things.

    Now with this schedule, it’s keeping my mind occupied. My app, my blogs, and the book I’m working on.

    The days go by so quick, and I’m already ready for what comes next.

    I’m looking forward to what the future brings me. And as much as I want to stop sometimes, I just can’t do that to myself because I have a lot of love for what I do.

    Life has been good to me lately, and in return, this is what I’m doing to give back.

    My all.
    My everything.
    My thoughts.
    My emotions.
    What I’m going through.

    Life hasn’t always been good, but in those bad moments, I don’t let it define my worth.

    So I keep posting.

    The showing-up part is what counts. It doesn’t go uncounted for.

    Some days you make huge progress. Other days, it leaves you drained with little left to give.

    But you still showed up.

    Little by little, make it count.

    Panda fam, we out. 🐼